Yesterday, I was expecting an order from ThinkGeek, so I checked their online package tracking link to see if it had been delivered on time. No such luck. Seems the UPS driver decided the address just had to be incorrect and took it back to the depot.
So I call UPS's 800 number and get to talk to a Real English Speaking Person after repeating "operator" four or five times to their voice response system (hint: GetHuman has a whole bunch of neat ways out of customer-non-service IVR hell).
Real English Speaking Person apologizes profusely, once again agreeing that a box marked "Parcels" is an absolutely acceptable delivery option, and my landscaping is none of their driver's business. He assures me someone will call me back within the hour.
I get a return call from some woman who tells me drivers are not allowed to leave a parcel in a box marked "Parcels" outside a locked gate. Oh really? Then how come every single time I've called UPS to complain about non-delivery, the 800-number folks assure me it is allowed and the problem will never happen again?
Not So Bright Woman refuses to just tell the driver to leave the parcel in the box on Monday and says I have to pick the thing up in person or it will be returned to the sender. Resisting the urge to use vocabulary learned from the racetrack backstretch and my military/LE friends, I ask if I can pick it up after work that day. Oh sure, she says, it will be here waiting.
The local Big UPS Terminal is in a crappy part of town, so of course it has "No Guns" signs posted about every twenty feet. I lock up Mr. Wilson and go in to pick up my shipment. Guess what? It's not there.
I inform Obnoxious UPS Clerk that's not what Not So Bright Woman told me earlier today. Doesn't matter, he says. The driver's not back yet and probably won't be until after 9:00 pm. So will they deliver the damn thing on Monday and leave it in the box? No, if Not So Bright Woman said they can't leave a package in a box It Must Be So, but I can come back on Monday and pick it up in person.
I am this close to refusing to do business with anyone who ships by UPS, and telling both UPS and the vendors exactly why.