Adventures in Auto Repair

A while back I bought a 2005 Saturn VUE that overall has proven satisfactory.  When I bought my first Saturn, its warranty came with PM's included, and the dealership mechanics proved to be excellent.  It was easy to become spoiled and let them deal with things that otherwise involved rolling around in the gravel driveway with motor oil and/or transmission fluid in my hair.

Saturn, alas, is no more, and Saturn repair with access to "factory" parts has been handed off to a short list of Certified Service Providers.

There are two in my area.  One has its business pretty much wallpapered with NO EBIL GUNZ signs, so of course I refuse to reward their bad behavior.  The other had been adequate for oil changes and tire rotations, but then the car came up with a Check Engine light (aka "the $300 light" according to a mechanic friend) and was running like crap.  Connecting the code scanner revealed only a P0300, Multiple Random Misfires.  So I made an appointment for it at Certified Service Provider #2.

Now understand I did this rather than digging into it myself only because I'm so expletive-deleted busy I don't have the time, not because I'm incapable of troubleshooting and repairing it myself.

Well, not only did they not fix anything, they told me I needed a whole new freakin' engine.  And then sent me this email:

From: Joe Redacted
To: hecate
Date: Mon, Oct 28, 2013 at 5:49 AM
Subject: Thank you! We hope we did an excellent job on your VUE.

Dear hecate,

Thank you for your recent visit to our Service Department. We want to make sure you had a truly outstanding service experience. Our goal is to always give you prompt and efficient service.

On each visit, we are striving for your complete satisfaction, so we would sincerely appreciate any comments or suggestions you might have regarding this visit.

Our hope is that you will continue to use our Service and Parts Departments exclusively in the future. If for any reason you feel that you can't do so or can't recommend us to a friend, please click the "Reply" button or call me at 855-XXX-XXXX.

Thank you for the privilege of letting us service your 2005 VUE. We value your opinion and we appreciate your business!

Sincerely,

Joe Redacted
Service Manager
Redacted Automotive
service@redactedsaturnserviceprovider.com
855-XXX-XXXX

Redacted Automotive Chevrolet Cadillac
Certified Service Providers for Saturn and Hummer

Yeah, right.

After some careful consideration, I sent them the following reply:

From: hecate
Date: Mon, Oct 28, 2013 at 7:34 PM
Subject: Re: Thank you! We hope we did an excellent job on your VUE.
To: Joe Redacted

Mr. Redacted:

Your service department had my 2005 Saturn Vue for two full days, during which time they put nearly 100 miles on the vehicle and left me with under 1/8 tank of gas.  I was told my vehicle "had an engine problem" that could only be addressed by replacing the entire engine.  I was given a preliminary rough guesstimate of $3,000 for a rebuilt engine and another $3,000 labor.

The initial presentation was a Check Engine light that coded P0300, multiple random misfires.  I was told while in your shop it also coded rich mixture.  When I asked how that related to "you need to replace the engine," I was told both codes were caused by oil-fouled spark plugs due to worn valve guides and seats.  I was also told I had "no oil pressure at the top of the engine."

Attached is a photo of the plugs that were in my engine when your staff said I had oil fouling.  As you can see, there is no oil fouling at all, wet or dry.  It would have taken all of five minutes to physically examine the plugs but apparently only computerized testing is the current SOP.

If actually looking at spark plugs to verify fouling is considered excessive effort, I would imagine performing something as basic as a leakdown test to assess actual engine wear would also be out of the question.

Now nothing I was told was technically untrue.  I knew when I brought the vehicle in that there was an engine problem.  I brought it in expecting a more precise diagnosis.  And regardless of the nature or severity of any engine problem, replacing the entire engine will certainly make it go away.  I cannot however regard what was done as anything resembling due diligence.

Rest assured that I will never use your services again.  If I ultimately determine my engine is truly so severely worn that replacement is potentially appropriate I will pull it and rebuild it myself.

Sincerely,

hecate

Now I had to fix the thing myself.  After going through my set of factory shop manuals and some Google searches, I decided to start at the air/fuel/spark interface and walk the problem back from there.  The first thing I tested was the coil pack, and it was bad.  ICM's typically jump off the cliff hand-in-hand with the coils, so I tested it as well.  Bingo.

I believe in fixing one clearly identified problem and then testing to see if anything else is needed.  Guess what, no further troubleshooting was necessary.  So I sent the Certified Service Provider a followup email:

From: hecate
Date: Mon, Nov 4, 2013 at 12:37 PM
Subject: Fwd: Thank you! We hope we did an excellent job on your VUE.
To: service@redactedsaturnserviceprovider.com

Mr. Redacted:

I thought you might like to know that I fixed my 2005 Saturn Vue myself.

It did not in fact need a new engine.  All it needed was a new ignition coil pack and ignition control module.  I replaced those on Saturday, then drove to Lexington and back on Sunday, a 400+ mile round trip, mostly at 75 mph.  The Vue functioned flawlessly.  Noise and vibration are gone.  There were no engine stumbles, misfires, or DTC's, and my gas mileage was far better than it's been in a long time.

If I were you, I'd be embarrassed that a woman using a Radio Shack multimeter was able to diagnose a problem in less than 15 minutes that your fully-equipped service department failed to detect in two days.  Total cost was less than $200 in parts and a pair of dirty hands.  It took me longer to find and retrieve a torx bit I dropped in the engine compartment than it took to complete the repair.

Sincerely,

hecate

Funny thing, they never responded.

Oh, This Would NEVER Be Abused

By our Benevolent Overlords:

How The New "Protecting Children" Bill Puts You At Risk

HR1981 forces ISPs to retain customer names, addresses, phone numbers, credit card numbers, bank account numbers, and dynamic IP addresses for eighteen months. The information would be available to police and attorneys upon request. Even civil litigants would be able to access this data.

As ZDNet's Violet Blue states:

"This has nothing to do with porn. In case you’re like the Reps that passed this nightmare and you’ve forgotten: pornography is legal in the United States.


"It is pedophilia that is illegal. But for the sake of harnessing hysteria to get a bill passed, clearly these particular Republicans find it convenient to conflate “pornographers” as pedophiles. Last time I checked in on the matter, pedophiles did not operate within the laws surrounding adult pornography."

Gee, kinda like criminals do not operate withing the laws surrounding guns.

Just as with guns, there are plenty of ways to track down pedophiles without keeping 18 months' worth of highly confidential data on every single internet user in the country.  As a professional network engineer, I've worked on many investigations ranging from employees behaving badly to kidnappings and serial killers.  Not one of those investigations was impeded by lack of this legislation, or would have been advanced by its presence.

HR1981 (1984 would have been a more appropriate bill number) happens to be sponsored by a Republican ostensibly against Teh Ebil Pr0n, but it could just as easily been crafted by Democrats against Tea Party Terrorists.  One can't help but wonder whether there's some wink-wink-nudge-nudge going on across the aisle with this one.

As with criminals vs. law-abiding gun owners, the percentage of pedophiles vs. legitimate internet users is microscopic.  There is absolutely no justification to collect information on 272.1 million internet users to track down an estimated 10,000 sleazeballs.  Just like registering everyone's guns will have no effect at all on violent criminals, but will surely facilitate abuse of the law-abiding.

Enough Is Enough

Posting has been nonexistent lately. I have power of attorney for my 94 year old aunt, who's in a nursing home with end-stage Alzheimer's. We've reached the point where there are calls from the nursing home at all hours of the day and night. I understand they have to protect themselves from liability. I'm sure there have been cases where family members previously stipulated "comfort care" only, then freaked out after the patient finally died and threatened to sue. But this crap is getting old.

She has come full circle, back to a state of existence worse than infancy: diapered, unable to turn over, unable to feed herself, unresponsive and unaware of her surroundings, making only random inarticulate sounds. She aspirates her own saliva. Were I in that state, I would not want to live. Going through this debacle has made me ensure I have the necessary paperwork on file to prevent it.

Her funeral arrangements are all prepaid under an irrevocable trust, so there won't be any expenses. There are, however, a huge amount of other people's expectations. I want nothing to do with any of them. I don't want to hover anxiously by her bedside. I don't want to have to manage and attend a funeral. I just want this over. I want her gone from my life, for good.

She was a thoroughly nasty person long before she had Alzheimer's as an excuse. Any time things didn't go her way she would throw tantrums worthy of the most spoiled two-year-old, screaming, throwing things, slamming doors. She spit on me on multiple occasions. About the only toddler ploy she didn't try was holding her breath until she turned blue. Her nickname among the staff at the local hospital before she lost the ability to terrorize everyone around her was "Cruella De Vil" and trust me, she deserved it.

Nobody else would step up to manage her affairs. For the last eleven years, I've filled out her paperwork, paid her bills, and untangled her Medicaid benefits when HHS messed them up. For this I have taken no compensation, despite my lawyer telling me I should. Every dime she had, including her serious six-figure inheritance from her sister (my mother), has gone to her care and upkeep.

My whole life has been cleaning up my family's mess. She's the last of them. I'm more than ready to be free of these people.

The Chicago Way

I was born and raised in Chicago (don't hold that against me), so I'm all too familiar with Chicago's unique form of politics. President Dear Leader Obama is doing everything in his power to take that sordid corruption to the national level.

If any further proof was needed, we have his appointment of Bill Daley as his new Chief of Staff. Bill Daley as in brother of Richard M. Daley, King Richard the Second, corrupt mayor of Chicago since 1989. As in son of Richard J. Daley, King Richard the First, 21-year mayor of Chicago and undisputed boss of the city's far-reaching Democratic Machine.

But don't take it from me . . .

Westroads "No Weapons" Signs Are Still Defective

Just before 7:00 am on Black Friday, there was an armed robbery in the food court at Omaha's Westroads Mall.

After their malfunctioning "No Weapons" signs failed to prevent this, I would have thought they'd fix them.

Spending Your Money And Mine

No wonder India is delighted with Barack Obama's upcoming visit. The local economy will benefit to the tune of INR (Indian Rupees) 15 lakh per hour.

And how much is INR 15 lakh? The word lakh means 100,000. At current exchange rates, INR 15 lakh = INR 1,500,000 = US$33,608.93.

PER HOUR.

That doesn't include money spent on this side of the pond. When Marie Antoinette Michelle Obama went to Spain, the cost of using Air Force One/Two was listed at $11,351 per hour. We'll probably never know how big the bill is for the rest of the India entourage. Seems the Secret Service refuses to divulge the costs of providing security, lest anyone use them to estimate the level of protection.

And where did all this money come from? Your taxpayer dollars and mine.

Midterm elections are six days away. Time to start chipping away at the rot.

The Divine Right Of Kings

So Dear Leader is planning to "advance his agenda" over the heads and behind the backs of Congress, and rule by fiat through executive orders and regulations?

Can you think of any better reason to impeach the bastard?

Feeling Vulnerable

Now that I'm gimping around on a bum knee, my defense toolbox is significantly smaller. Many options such as good old Nike-fu (running away) are off the table entirely, and a lot of my empty-hand skills are seriously compromised. That means I'm more dependent on tool use.

Unfortunately, my new employer is so politically correct it hurts. On my first day, during the HR orientation spiel, I was warned that even pocket multitools are considered dangerous weapons and will earn equivalent disciplinary action. All company property and anything on it is subject to search at any time. And their posted criminal-empowerment zones include the employee parking garage.

Under state law, leaving a gun locked in a car in a posted parking area is not a violation as long as the gun does not leave the vehicle. State law does not, however, prohibit an employer from taking disciplinary action against an employee for violating their so-called safety policy. That means my new employer is rendering me helpless not only at work but also on the drives to and from, and for any other stops I might make during those drives.

Having been unemployed twice in the last less-than-a-year, I have a whole new appreciation for having a job in an at-will world. This last time I was job-hunting was right after Obamacare passed, and prospective employers were asking me wholly inappropriate questions about my health, whether I was on any prescription drugs, et cetera. If I lose this job, finding another will only get harder.

Being a professional geek involves working maintenance windows and callouts in the middle of the night. Where I work now is very near an area heavily frequented by the non-harmless variety of homeless people. It is the height of arrogant-liberal fingers-in-their-ears-la-la-la denial for this company to render me helpless from the moment I leave my house to the moment I return. Disarmed is not safe.

Yes, I'm looking into alternate parking arrangements. Other nearby garages are expensive and currently have waiting lists. Parking at a meter on the street is not an option.

Not looking like food is a big part of avoiding predators. That's a lot harder now that I'm temporarily mobility-impaired. I can't walk as fast or move with the same confidence and fluidity as before. That makes me look like prey, and I absolutely hate it.

So I'm being very careful to not do anything that can get me fired while looking for a way around the worst of my employer's helpless-is-safe newspeak stupidity.

And if anything happens that I can't handle with only a flashlight on a keychain, I will do my damnedest to sue them into bankruptcy for putting me in that position.

Is This Working?

I mentioned my aversion to doctors and the medical industry here. Perhaps a little background will explain why I avoid them so assiduously.

A former co-worker and her husband illustrate perfectly my problems with allopathic medicine. The co-worker periodically had to take a day or two off work when she had her arthritic knees injected with cortisone. The injections were very painful, but she swore her knees were so much better after the pain wore off.

I explained to her how cortisone injected into a joint actually works, how it's a total short-term-gain-long-term-loss situation, and how horses who are injected this way end up getting put down. Oh no, she insisted, these were absolutely safe. Guess what? Next thing you know she's having both knees replaced.

Then there's her husband. When they got married, he was active and to all appearances healthy. He hunted and fished, built and fixed things, and never had a cardiac symptom in his life. His new wife insisted he go in for a full physical as she did twice a year, and he agreed.

During that physical, the doctors found what they described as a serious heart murmur. Despite the total absence of any cardiac distress whatsoever for his entire life, they insisted the husband have his mitral valve replaced at once.

The husband had the surgery, and then while still in the hospital had a massive stroke -- a post-operative complication that's more common than you might think. Recovery from the stroke was lengthy and difficult, and the husband had sufficient permanent impairment that his formerly favorite activities were nearly impossible.

The he started passing out. The doctors had him wear a Holter monitor for a week and concluded he now needed a pacemaker. As the co-worker was describing her husband's painful recovery from that surgery, she gushed, "And I'm so glad we caught all these problems so early."

Say what? Odds are if her husband had listened to his own body instead of his wife's doctors, he would still be an active outdoorsman today instead of a near-invalid.

My best friend for many years died because while she knew exactly what was wrong with her, the doctors wouldn't listen. How dare she think she knows more than they do? She had been a medical professional herself before quitting in disgust, her husband was a doctor, and still they wouldn't listen. The last time I visited her in the hospital, she knew she was dying. The doctors kept saying as soon as she could start walking again she could be released, but she knew better. It was painfully obvious to me as well what the outcome would be, but the doctors refused to believe her. As she said during that last visit, "Well, they finally killed me."

And the sickest I ever was in my entire life was from a respiratory infection I picked up while visiting her in the hospital.

My aunt is the only person on either side of my family who ever developed Alzheimer's disease. She is also the only person on either side of my family who was (and still is, gotta love those doctors) on one of a certain class of extremely popular and lucrative prescription drugs. A doctor friend confided that he and other medical professionals are wondering about a possible causative relationship between these drugs and the increasing incidence of Alzheimer's, but to speak of it is to commit career suicide.

I'm sure if I went in for a full physical, some doctor would see a number or a squiggly line on a piece of paper and tell me I need to be on prescription drugs. And if I took those drugs, I would no doubt end up on the downward spiral of ever-increasing dependency on the pharmaceutical industry. My aunt is on a whole laundry list of drugs, half of which are to counteract the side effects of the other half. None of them are increasing her quality of life one bit. She's just this side of a chronic vegetative state, and who's to say if this condition was truly inevitable?

If the current medical industry was really making people healthier, wouldn't they need it less instead of more? Kinda like if gun control was really effective, wouldn't the cities with the strictest laws have less crime instead of more?

Oddly enough, I find it much easier to find a competent and trustworthy veterinarian than a practitioner of human medicine. Maybe that's because, as one vet told me, "We don't take that God 101 class in vet school."

This Is What Disarmament Gets You

As if the recent spree-killings in gun-control-paradise England weren't bad enough on their own, it appears their police had actually cornered the killer fairly early in the event. Their unarmed police. All it took for him to escape and continue killing was pointing his gun at them.

As AztecRed points out here, why even have police when all they have to stop a sociopathic killer is strong language?

An American who'd been a police officer in Texas before moving to the UK was appalled at what he was told by his instructors while training to be a British police officer:

"If you ever see somebody carrying a gun, turn and run away as quickly as possible."

That's what they call police training? Gee, here in the barbaric Colonies, the good guys run toward the gunfire, not away. In any American jurisdiction, point a gun at police officers, especially multiple police officers, after you have already murdered people and they will shoot you to the ground. Even just one person with the tools, skills, and will can end a public killing spree.

I hope the panty-wetters in power accept responsibility for the blood on their hands resulting from their creation and enforcement of an utterly depraved public policy of defenselessness. They won't, though. They will undoubtedly use it as an excuse to clamp down even more on inanimate objects instead of their dystopian society that promotes violence by rewarding the violent with job safety and security. Ban weapons for the law-abiding, criminalize defending yourself in any way at all, then train the police to run away from danger? And they wonder why violent crime increases rather than decreases?

Insanity is doing the same unsuccessful thing over and over, expecting a different outcome. And welcome to the blogroll, Barack's Gun Lies.

Here We Go Again

Yesterday, I was expecting an order from ThinkGeek, so I checked their online package tracking link to see if it had been delivered on time. No such luck. Seems the UPS driver decided the address just had to be incorrect and took it back to the depot.

Quelle surprise.

So I call UPS's 800 number and get to talk to a Real English Speaking Person after repeating "operator" four or five times to their voice response system (hint: GetHuman has a whole bunch of neat ways out of customer-non-service IVR hell).

Real English Speaking Person apologizes profusely, once again agreeing that a box marked "Parcels" is an absolutely acceptable delivery option, and my landscaping is none of their driver's business. He assures me someone will call me back within the hour.

I get a return call from some woman who tells me drivers are not allowed to leave a parcel in a box marked "Parcels" outside a locked gate. Oh really? Then how come every single time I've called UPS to complain about non-delivery, the 800-number folks assure me it is allowed and the problem will never happen again?

Yeah, right.

Not So Bright Woman refuses to just tell the driver to leave the parcel in the box on Monday and says I have to pick the thing up in person or it will be returned to the sender. Resisting the urge to use vocabulary learned from the racetrack backstretch and my military/LE friends, I ask if I can pick it up after work that day. Oh sure, she says, it will be here waiting.

The local Big UPS Terminal is in a crappy part of town, so of course it has "No Guns" signs posted about every twenty feet. I lock up Mr. Wilson and go in to pick up my shipment. Guess what? It's not there.

I inform Obnoxious UPS Clerk that's not what Not So Bright Woman told me earlier today. Doesn't matter, he says. The driver's not back yet and probably won't be until after 9:00 pm. So will they deliver the damn thing on Monday and leave it in the box? No, if Not So Bright Woman said they can't leave a package in a box It Must Be So, but I can come back on Monday and pick it up in person.

I am this close to refusing to do business with anyone who ships by UPS, and telling both UPS and the vendors exactly why.

With Friends Like These

Who needs enemies?

ATK is the parent company of such popular commercial ammunition brands as Black Cloud, Blazer, CCI, Estate Cartridge, Federal Premium, Fusion, and Speer. They also own the famous Lake City Ammunition Plant in Independence, Missouri, where they manufacture military ammunition under a variety of hugely-lucrative government contracts.

Now, as Kurt Hofmann points out here, ATK is promoting destruction of once-fired military brass rather than allowing it to be sold to the reloading market. They actually claim that allowing once-fired brass to be used for reloading by civilians is illegal:

"One problem that has become more and more evident, is the public response to the purchase of spent brass. Public sales are readily available via the internet. This type of sale allows military grade cases to be reloaded and sold on the commercial market. This practice with Gov't issued ammunitions is strictly against the specs of the demilitarization Manual.

"DOD4160.21M1 states that all small caliber ammunition must be deformed or burned prior to public sale."

Yes, the document referenced, DoD 4160.21M1, does say ammunition must be deformed or burned. But spent brass is classified as DEMIL Code E and fully allowable for sale as-is under the same waiver it qualified for prior to the DoD effort a year or so ago to classify it DEMIL Code B and ineligible for the waiver.

The worst part of ATK's misleading campaign to military organizations is the attitude they display in their literature:

"To PREVENT anyone from using your scrap ammunition components for non-military purposes."

and

"Currently handling brass scrap for ATK Lake City -- for sole purpose of recycling material and preventing any reloading of spent cases by the public with military grade brass."

Sounds like more of that "Only Ones" mentality to me.

ATK claims the demilled cases will be melted down and made into new cases for military use only. The unintended consequence will be the loss to the civilian ammunition market of huge quantites of quality, affordable, reloadable brass.

Or is it an unintended consequence? ATK's civilian-market subsidiaries sell factory loaded ammunition for the most part, and loss of reloading components will force more people to buy factory ammo rather than reloading in any useful volume. It will also drive the cost of factory ammo up even more than the current astronomical level. "Cheap" practice hardball in .45 ACP has doubled in price since Obama was elected -- if you can find any.

Hmm, it now looks like the weight of public opinion has been felt by ATK. We can't afford to let up the pressure. Those who would profit from creating scarcity (where have we heard that before?) need to be on notice that we're paying attention and will not tolerate such behavior.

And please remember November is coming. The Evil Democratic Party stranglehold on the legislative process must be dismantled. The Stupid Republican Party needs to field some real candidates that aren't just RINOs. Pay attention, get involved, and VOTE.

On Being A Fertilizer Magnet

Some years back, certain folks saw other people who were different from themselves and decided the way to deal with this differentness was to fly some planes into buildings. That same attitude is alive and well, albeit on a slightly smaller scale, in our local communities today.

We all face the choice at some point in our lives to Be True To Ourselves or Be Obedient Sheep. For the Conformity At All Costs crowd, there are planned communities with homeowner associations, where little Nazis can enforce approved paint colors, landscaping requirements, storage shed bans, and other examples of institutionalized codependency. They should stay in their gated enclaves instead of spreading through the countryside like a poo-flinging plague.

No, I don't think it was a coincidence that the BTK Killer worked in Compliance Enforcement.

The story of my life

Since I chose the other option, I constantly draw the ire of those who feel Everyone Who Is Not Just Like Them Must Be EVIL.

Now, I live out in the country surrounded by farmland. The closest occupied dwelling is over a quarter mile away. Law enforcement response time can be 20 minutes on a good day. There are no homeowner associations. But there is no lack of codependent idiots.

When my old mare was alive, the We Watch Too Much Animal Planet crowd figured in heavily as well. At age 22, she ruptured the lateral collateral ligaments in her right stifle joint fooling around in a muddy paddock. The local big-name-leg-man-horse-vet told me the injury wasn't survivable, but Margo had other ideas. With the help of my holistic vet, she healed and lived another six years, but developed a permanent hitch in her gitalong from fooling around and reinjuring her leg.

Margo a year after her "fatal" injury

Passers-by who saw her standing the way she was most comfortable or moving carefully ASSUMED there was Something Terribly Wrong and called the sheriff. After repeated discussions with my vet and my documentation that I was spending over $1,000 a month on her well-being, they advised me to post my property against trespassing and keep my gate locked.

Oh yeah, I forgot the earlier complaint by a Rural Living N00b that had a deputy nearly rolling with laughter when he came to check it out. Seems some fool reported I had a blindfolded horse after seeing her wearing one of these.

And the guy who showed up telling me I needed to sell my horse for slaughter since he never saw me riding her? I could get real good money from the killers for a big, fat horse like that, don'cha know. He'd even haul her to the auction for me, for a cut of the profits. I told him to leave while he still could.

Then there was the woman who showed up saying she'd just moved in down the road and didn't have any friends. She wanted to be my friend, and we could have coffee together, and swap recipes, and go shopping, and everything. Ick, ick, ick, ick, ick. I choose my friends, and that kind of crap doesn't qualify.

All my life, I've wanted to live in the woods. So an acreage out in the country should be just perfect for finally meeting that goal, right? Not so much. OF COURSE you must really want all those nasty trees cut down, and there are lots of people willing to tell you how they'll "help you out" by bulldozing everything, or even better, report you to the sheriff as being somehow incompetent because you don't have a chemically-dependent biological wasteland pretty wall-to-wall lawn like they do.

Then there's the series of people who want to buy my place. Call me stupid, but I generally figure a property that's for sale will, like, have a FOR SALE sign out front, or be listed with a realtor somewhere. If I saw a place I liked, I might make a note of it and inquire if I saw it go on the market, but I would never look up the owners' names and contact them saying I wanted to buy the place. Nor would I ever dream of justifying such behavior by claiming I'm somehow more entitled to own the property than they are.

Nor would I enlist the aid of friends in the county zoning office to bombard the owners with violation after violation (most of which were for violating the in-town zoning regulations of the county seat -- how stupid do you think I am?) in an attempt to convince them they should move elsewhere.

I had to go to the county attorney with my attorney on that one. Fortunately the old-boys club doesn't extend everywhere, and zoning employees lost their jobs before all was said and done.

Now I'm on the fourth round of wannabe-buyers who don't understand No Means No. This time they looked me up on the assessor's website (THANK YOU for enabling harassment and identity theft, you tools) and sent me a letter. They had bought the adjacent 150 acres and felt that entitled them to my little corner of the world as well. Let's see, they have over 100 times as much land as I do, and feel that only makes it "right" they have mine? Greedy much?

I sent them a response saying the property was not for sale and I wanted no further contact with them. So of course they later left a note on my gate saying I needed to call them ASAP or they'd show up at my door over the weekend. Did I mention the locked gate and the No Trespassing sign?

I called my lawyer who called them immediately, telling them I was not selling and they were not to contact me again. What happened next?* An anonymous call to the sheriff's office saying they need to check on me because I have VEHICLES and DOGS THAT ARE BIGGER THAN PIT BULLS. Oopsie, the dogs' fully fenced exercise yard is only visible from their property, not from the road. They also helpfully gave the sheriff's office an account of when I leave and return home every day. Nobody can see that from their kitchen window.

That got me a "welfare check" at 10:00 pm on a Friday night. More lawyer calls, more documentation sent in writing to the sheriff's office. This crap is getting to smell like stalking.

Why the bloody hell can't these morons just leave me alone?

There is one consequence of all the stupidity I'm thankful for. It was a sheriff's deputy years ago responding to an intruder trouble call who first suggested I should consider getting a gun.

* Almost forgot to include this incident and another where I came out my front door to find a pickup in my driveway with activity outside the privacy fence. They saw me coming and left in a hurry. I photographed the tracks in the snow where they were going to try to get around my fence. Oh, and the earlier one when I heard men's voices outside my window in the middle of the night. Calling out they had one chance to vacate the premises backed up by racking my 12-gauge shut that one down real quick.

Has It Been Ten Years Already?

Last census, I hit the FedGov Annoyance Jackpot with not only the Long Form but a Household Survey, gov-speak for a whole series of face-to-face visits. A woman kept showing up at my door asking the same questions over and over again.

"Has the number of people living here changed in the past month?"

"No."

"Do you still own your house?"

"Yes."

Et cetera, et cetera, rinse, repeat. This time I got the 10-question version, which is about nine too many. Since I don't need any more fertilizer in my life and seem to be a fertilizer-magnet in general, I answered them all and mailed the damned thing back.

But if some idiot shows up at my door with a clipboard this time around, we're going to have words.*

* Gee, do I get put on a List somewhere for saying that?

Emergency Powers

This incident in North Carolina has brought an ugly secret lurking in that state's statutes into the light of day:

5. Areas of Emergency and Riot
It is also a misdemeanor under North Carolina law for a person to transport or possess, off his or her own premises, a dangerous weapon in an area during a declared state of emergency, or in the vicinity of a riot. N.C. Gen. Stat. § 14-288.7 A concealed handgun permit does not allow a permittee to carry a weapon in these areas. N.C. Gen.
Stat. § 14-415.11(c)

So I decided to check the Nebraska statutes regarding emergency declarations:

(6) In addition to any other powers conferred upon the Governor by law, he or she may:
(a) Suspend the provisions of any regulatory statute prescribing the procedures for conduct of state business or the orders, rules, or regulations of any state agency if strict compliance with the provisions of any statute, order, rule, or regulation would in any way prevent, hinder, or delay necessary action in coping with the disaster, emergency, or civil defense emergency;
(b) Utilize all available resources of the state government and of each political subdivision of the state as are reasonably necessary to cope with the disaster, emergency, or civil defense emergency;
(c) Transfer the direction, personnel, or functions of state departments and agencies or units thereof for the purpose of performing or facilitating emergency management; (d) Subject to any applicable requirements for compensation under section 81-829.57, commandeer or utilize any private property if he or she finds this necessary to cope with the disaster, emergency, or civil defense emergency;
(e) Direct and compel the evacuation of all or part of the population from any stricken or threatened area within the state if he or she deems this action necessary for the preservation of life or other emergency management;
(f) Prescribe routes, modes of transportation, and destinations in connection with evacuation;
(g) Control ingress and egress to and from a disaster area, the movement of persons within the area, and the occupancy of premises in the area;
(h) Suspend or limit the sale, dispensing, or transportation of alcoholic beverages, firearms, explosives, and combustibles; and
(i) Make provisions for the availability and use of temporary emergency housing.

Well, at least this statute makes the firearm restrictions optional instead of mandatory. Big whoop.

Omaha, with its Bloomie-Buddy mayors and may-issue gun registration, goes even farther in defining what types of weapons can be prohibited at the mayor's whim:

Article IV. State Of Emergency Curfew
Sec. 8-85. Restriction of activities.
Whenever a state of emergency has been declared as provided for herein, the mayor is hereby authorized to take one or more of the following specified measures throughout the city or any part thereof:
(a) Prohibit or limit the number of persons who may gather or congregate upon the public highways or public sidewalks, or in any outdoor place, except persons who are awaiting transportation, engaging in recreational activities at a usual and customary place, or peaceably entering or leaving buildings.
(b) Establish a curfew limiting the hours when persons may go upon or travel the public streets.
(c) Require the closing of cocktail lounges, taverns and bars and prohibit the sale or service of alcoholic beverages in any hotel, restaurant, club or other establishment, and require the closing of all other business establishments.
(d) Prohibit or restrict the sale of gasoline or other inflammable liquids.
(e) Prohibit the sale, carrying or possession on the public street or public sidewalks, or in any public park or square, of weapons including, but not limited to, firearms, bows and arrows, air rifles, slingshots, knives, razors or missiles of any kind.
(f) To do any and all things and take such measures as are necessary to preserve the health, safety, and property of the citizens of this community.
(Code 1980, § 8-85)
Cross references: Liquors, ch. 15; weapons, § 20-191 et seq.; parades, processions and assemblies, § 20-291 et seq.

Looks like the desire to render the populace helpless in the face of dire circumstances is pretty much universal. I suppose some would say the absence of the word "confiscate" should comfort us, but be reminded that the Disaster Recovery Personal Protection Act of 2006 only addresses confiscation by an "officer or employee of the United States (including any member of the uniformed services), or person operating pursuant to or under color of Federal law, or receiving Federal funds, or under control of any Federal official, or providing services to such an officer, employee, or other person, while acting in support of relief from a major disaster or emergency," not state- or locally-declared emergencies.

Read your local laws, join your local grassroots firearm advocacy organizations, and make sure your local elected overlords officials can't leave you defenseless when you may need effective defense the most.

What, No Vaseline?

I finally got my W-2 for the new job and fired up TurboTax to find out what my refund will be this year.

Did I say refund? Silly me!

You see, I got a new job that pays more money than the last one. How dare I earn more money when there are public parasites elected officials with pork projects they need me to fund, and welfare deadbeats entitlement slugs deserving citizens who need me to pay their mortgages.

To say the Infernal Eternal Internal Revenue Service and the Nebraska Department of Revenue posterior-fornicated me is an overwhelming understatement.

Hope that new rifle doesn't show up for a while.

Cabela's Was Right

Last month, Cabela's proactively notified their California ammunition customers that they would no longer be able to ship to them if AB962 was signed into law.

Governor Arnold "I made millions shooting guns in movies but you peasants shouldn't have any" Schwarzenegger did exactly that just before the veto deadline.

According to his statement, he actually believes this will reduce crime. Or at least he says so. If it does, it will pretty much be a first, since no other gun control legislation has ever done so. A far more frequent effect of restricting citizens' access to firearms is an increase in violent crime.

Just as every single other restriction has only resulted in criminals obtaining weapons through off-book channels, this will do the same with ammunition. They're criminals. That's what they do.

Kommiefornia California will undoubtedly see some other effects that certain people there will consider good ones. Some gun owners will move to other states in disgust. Others will decide it's just too onerous to keep going and give up on owning guns. Gun-haters, gun-fearers, and gun-banners love anything that reduces the number of law-abiding gun owners.

Some who live there keep fighting the good fight.

The rest will bend over, grab their ankles, and submit to thumbprinting and registration. Until the next time another draconian law whittles away at the ranks.

Oh, sure, it could have been worse. The bill that was signed was previously amended to remove requirements for ammunution sellers to be licensed and restricting ammunition transfers to not more than fifty rounds a month.

Fifty rounds a month isn't even enough to maintain basic proficiency, never mind training or competition. I've never taken even a four-hour training class that used less than two hundred rounds.

It's easy to say this is California, what do you expect? But no matter where we live, every one of these worthless laws harms us all. Every one sets another dangerous precedent. And worst of all, when they don't accomplish anything, the idiots who wrote them are motivated to DO IT AGAIN, ONLY HARDER THIS TIME.

Bite Me, FTC

The Federal Trade Commission is cracking down on product endorsements in blogs.

I write here from time to time about various items I have found useful. I place links to some companies, such as Wilson Combat and HideAwayKnife, in my blog sidebar because I use and like their products.

And I've bought and paid for every one of these items.

A company paying me to review their stuff? Please. First, you need to have, like, more than five readers for that to happen. Second, I don't do that.

A few companies have e-mailed me to post links, offering free or discounted merchandise in return, or a cut of any sales that come from my blog. I have never taken any of them up on their offers. I blog as a way to say things I want to say, not for commercial gain.

However, the FTC can choose to investigate me just because I post anything at all that might possibly imply I might possibly have some theoretical obscure relationship with an equipment manufacturer.

I love my Megan Magnum holster that I ordered, waited for, and paid for. Ditto my full custom built Wilson Combat 1911 based off their Elite Professional and my many HideAway knives. I wear Galco and Wilderness belts because they last and I like them, not because anyone paid me to.

I feed my horses Triple Crown Performance and Woody's Exacta Oats because I like their quality control and ingredients. I use an Ansur treeless saddle because I did a lot of research when I wanted to find something that wouldn't harm my horses' backs, and it has proven to be exactly that.

And not one of these companies has ever given me one red cent. Or any free products. Nothing. Nada. Zip.

I will continue to express my personal opinions about things I have bought and paid for myself.

Bite me, FTC.

Cost-Benefit Ratio

A draconian ammunition restriction bill, AB962, passed the Commiefornia California Assembly on September 11 (interesting date, that) by a 44-31 vote. The only hope left for gun owners in that state is a veto by Governor Arnold "I made millions shooting guns in movies but you peasants shouldn't have any" Schwarzenegger.

Cabela's has already announced they will no longer be able to ship ammo to California customers if this bill is signed.

The misbegotten politicians who favor this legislation claim it will reduce crime by making it harder for criminals to obtain ammunition. After all, guns without ammo are just funny-shaped clubs, right?

Remember that point.

Let's look at just how much ammunition is likely to ever be used in crimes.

According to the CDC's WISQARS database, in 2006 (the most recent year for which complete figures are available) the total number of firearm fatalities from all causes was 30,896. The total number of firearm injuries from all causes was 71,417. That gives us a total of 102,313 total firearm incidents that resulted in death or injury regardless of cause. Causes can include criminals killed or injured by police, genuine accidents, and justified self defense, but let's add them all together to make sure we're not missing anything.

There is no record of how many rounds were fired during any given firearm incident, but let's just pull a number out of any handy body orifice and assign a value of 5 to this question. That would give a potential total number of 511,565 rounds fired in incidents resulting in injury or death during 2006.

How does that compare to the total number of rounds of ammunition purchased during a typical year?

According to the NRA, Americans typically buy about 7,000,000,000 rounds of ammunition annually. This past year, though, the amount has jumped to about 9,000,000,000,rounds. But let's stick with the lower number, just to ensure the results of our calculations look as bad as possible. Divide 511,565 rounds of possibly-criminal ammo by 7,000,000,000 rounds bought during an average year, and we get 0.00731% of ammo that might possibly be used in a crime.

That's 13,683.5 rounds not used in any crime for every 1 that might have possibly been.

And that's just ammo bought annually. I have hundreds of rounds in calibers I don't shoot so much any more that I've had longer than a year. Nobody knows how much ammunition is owned by private citizens in this country, and that's a good thing.

Based on the numbers, it seems like the burden this legislation puts on law-abiding gun owners in California is vastly greater than any possible impact on crime. Criminals have as many off-book avenues for obtaining ammunition as they do for obtaining guns.

Instead of reducing crime, it has much greater potential to reduce the number of law-abiding gun owners in California due to yet another onerous set of hoops they need to jump through just to remain law-abiding gun owners.

Unless that's just what those misbegotten politicians really wanted all along.

Another Radical Extremist

On September 10, Cass Sunstein was confirmed as the Obamessiah's "Regulatory Czar."

Let's see what kinds of organic fertilizer this nutjob shovels:

"We hardly need to imagine a world, however, in which people and institutions are being harmed by the rapid spread of damaging falsehoods via the Internet. We live in that world. What might be done to reduce the harm?"

Damaging falsehoods? Like conservative/libertarian blogs?

Sunstein does have his own form of libertarianism:

"The idea of libertarian paternalism might seem to be an oxymoron, but it is both possible and legitimate for private and public institutions to affect behavior while also respecting freedom of choice. Often people's preferences are ill-formed, and their choices will inevitably be influenced by default rules, framing effects, and starting points. In these circumstances, a form of paternalism cannot be avoided. Equipped with an understanding of behavioral findings of bounded rationality and bounded self-control, libertarian paternalists should attempt to steer people's choices in welfare-promoting directions without eliminating freedom of choice. It is also possible to show how a libertarian paternalist might select among the possible options and to assess how much choice to offer."

Steer people's choices? And how much choice to offer?

He also feels we should "celebrate" paying taxes:

"In what sense is the money in our pockets and bank accounts fully ‘ours’? Did we earn it by our own autonomous efforts? Could we have inherited it without the assistance of probate courts? Do we save it without the support of bank regulators? Could we spend it if there were no public officials to coordinate the efforts and pool the resources of the community in which we live?... Without taxes there would be no liberty. Without taxes there would be no property. Without taxes, few of us would have any assets worth defending. [It is] a dim fiction that some people enjoy and exercise their rights without placing any burden whatsoever on the public… There is no liberty without dependency."

Former New Jersey Superior Court Judge Andrew Napolitano, an advocate of strict interpretation of Constitutional law, said about Sunstein, "We have never had anyone with this much power, who is this far to the Left, and who is this out of touch with the American people [appointed by a president]. His potential damage is limitless." Napolitano went on to say that Sunstein is likely on the president's short-list to be the next justice seated on the bench at the Supreme Court.

And you thought Sotomayor was bad?

Check here to see how your senators voted, and let them know how you feel about it. The 2010 midterm elections are closer than you think.